I’m not sure why I was so busy worrying about finding the perfect Native boyfriend since I’ll be in like a dozen cities the rest of 2014. My life will turn into a roller coaster very shortly, I best just enjoy the ride …
“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.”—Helen Keller
“The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender.”—Emil Ludwig (via writingquotes)
So totally exhausted. I guess my whole “self-care” thing is just a little to late … or just on time?
My body has begun to fight me once again. I’ve been traveling a lot lately, which means I cheat when I eat. No hardcore paleo - a rice cookie here, a beef bolognese there, a bit of dairy here and then … collapse. My body hates these things. I am not supposed to eat them, but when caught up in the moment, I think it’s okay. “I’ve been doing so well and my body has been behaving” - my internal dialogue.
And then complete exhaustion. I slept in yesterday - did my writing/reading/yoga thing and then napped and then went to bed at 8:30 PM to sleep a full 12 hours. Yes, 12 hours. Still tired.
I’ve got a full day of meetings, to pack and fly off to Calgary tomorrow. A gala in the evening and then a full few days in AB to relax. I’ll stare at the mountains in Banff and be on vacation. Relax, restore, rejuvenate. And I won’t eat the bad things.
I woke up today and I’ve decided I need change. While I’m happy with my life, I envision more for myself - a nicer place to live, beautiful furniture to wake up to, and a feeling of security that always seems to evade me …
So now that I have this beautiful image in my head, what am I going to do to get it?
Yesterday I learned about the difference in creating learning goals over performance goals. For example, someone saying that I will learn to eat healthy instead of I will lose 10 lbs. This is to create long-term, sustainable goals and to decrease anxiety.
With that in mind, I’ve decided my path to increased peace and prosperity will only come from myself so I must learn to treat myself better. I need to increase my self-care each and every day.
Every morning I will wake up and ask myself what the one thing I can do for myself to set myself up for success that day. Today’s answer is to start my day off with writing/reading/yoga/weights/smudge - my ultimate self-care morning.
I have no idea if this is going to ensure I have a sexy place to live that I dream of, but I do know that I will be working on increasing my happiness every single day, and in the end, isn’t that what it’s really about?
People often think my life is full of action, and possibly even glamour. Today I had three meetings - all business related, but there is always points of personal interaction in all the work that I do. It was a great day. Tonight I am working alone on my laptop. Us against the world.
While I often have business weeks full of business, meetings, dinners, events, and travel - my weekends are generally totally low key and quiet.
I find myself lately wanting to get a cat to cuddle with but then I remember that I’m never home and will be a vagabond of sorts this summer and can’t actually have a cat (yet). On the outside, my life looks busy and full of activity, but the truth is I just want to get a cat and be that single woman stereotype. Cat cuddles are the best cuddles. Anyone want to loan me a cat on the weekends?
“Quebec can decide what it wants in terms of its culture, its identity and its development, but it cannot claim sovereignty over a territory which is still, fundamentally, First Nation.”—Ghislain Picard, Interim AFN spokesperson
“I want to get rid of the Indian problem … Our object is to continue until there is not a single Indian in Canada that has not been absorbed into the body politic and there is no Indian question.”—Duncan Campbell Scott
This is how you’ve been imprinted to use your relationship to power - to use it against yourself. Every day we create reality based on what we’ve been programmed to believe. So we spend most of our lives not really thinking clearly and coherently - not initiated thought. We spend a great deal of our lives not really living, but existing in programmed, reactive belief that we call thought.
We can blame the oppressor, the predatory mindset, we can blame it forever and it doesn’t mind. It doesn’t care.
We need to use our energy, our intelligence in an alternative way to the way we have been using it.